My Darling Kelsey,

You are so pretty. You have the body of a goddess. Skin is flawless. Hair luxurious. You pose beautifully. Dance effortlessly. You slay on escalators. You can walk on cobblestone in heels without your ankles buckling. Your smile lights up my phone even when my battery is low. You are the first blooming flower at the arrival of spring. You're as fresh as the pages of a new book, waiting to be read, digested, and memorized. You bring me joy like when my food comes at a restaurant. I bet you could spell “Tupperware” as a toddler, you're so intelligent. You probably know how to fold the fitted sheet. You are the second product on the shelf, untouched and innocently hiding behind the first product that everyone has tried out but not willing to buy. Your eyes are as vibrant as a glimpse of sun after a rainstorm. Fulfilling as the first meal after a hangover. You are a masterpiece in a glass case, admired by all, understood by few. Pleasantly surprising as a key change in a classical piece. You are the bridge to my favorite song. Cool as the foot exposed outside the sheets. 

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, good health, and at peace. I hope that you have accomplished everything you set out to at this point in your career and I wish you more success. Never stop learning, inspiring, and looking for ways of self-improvement (even though you're already perfect!). Happy New Year.

Your biggest fan,
Your imaginary friend,
Your woman crusher,

Jade Leilani

Yoga: Training the Body & Mind

A few months ago, I began practicing yoga as both a physical and mental builder/stress-reliever.  It amazes me how closely the activities of the body correlate with those of the mind. Both can be trained and what you feed them will determine their everyday function.

Now I’m not the type to randomly wake up one morning, throw on some leggings, snap into a tree pose or half-moon, and call myself a yogi just for the sake of likes from the pseudo-hippie community on Instagram. For a while I had read about its benefits and admired the strength of those who had been doing it for years. But I never considered actually getting into it myself. I underestimated the power of meditation.. of breathing.. of pushing through.. of SILENCE. Yoga allows you to quiet that internal conversation and focus solely on accomplishing a goal. Goals may consist of holding a difficult pose for five full breaths, finally touching your head with your toe in the King Pigeon, stretching your legs at a wider angle, enduring pain, becoming less anxious about the stresses in your life, etc. No matter the goal, your session leaves you feeling balanced, powerful, invincible, and most importantly ENERGETIC. Positive energy will exude from your mind and body and it will show in your interactions with others.

As stated earlier, mental training is just as important as physical training. Your body can be conditioned to build strength and resilience for better functioning. The same applies to your mind. The more you utilize certain areas of your brain (i.e. emotion, logic, creativity) in healthy ways, the more conditioned it will be to do so on its own, with less direct conscious work from you. Consistently feed yourself positive thoughts and eventually, your subconscious will be consumed with so much positivity that you’ll develop a lower tolerance for negativity. Yoga is most certainly a vehicle for this type of mental training.

I’d like to still consider myself new to the practice. Honestly, right now I’m not too concerned with learning a lot of the concrete material like the names of the poses, meanings of the various hand signs, etc. I’m just focusing on the basics and strengthening myself for the next level. Progress is key. I’m hoping you join me in the journey.

Namaste.

Bare

Undress my mind slowly

Peel away the seemingly boundless layers

Removing seams and revealing things that remained unshown to others

Embrace me

Trace your fingers along the what-if's and neverminds of my conscience

Caress between my inner thoughts 

Calming my fears as they tremble

Awaken places that were once uninspired

Admire the outpour of my deepest desires

Drenched in curiosity

I yearn to have you inside

Decide if you want to protect your pride or penetrate my core unpretentiously

Solidify your essence as I submit to your presence

So pleasantly relentless and fitting

Explore every crevice of the depths of my being

Delicate. Unsurpassed. Extraordinary.

How ripe, the fruits of my labor, both minor and major

My mind's wrapped tightly around you stroking my ego

Simultaneous exchange of favors

Saturate me with substance

I swallow my pride and savor your character

Aware, bare, and exposed

Intertwined with mine

Time invested delving into my interior

Forever dwell in my mind

-jadeleilani

Ritual Union

Not too long ago I was saying I’d never get a tattoo. Three months later I have a Tree of Life on my right hip and this ↑ on my left arm. The Tree of Life is an ancient universal symbol that essentially means that all things are connected through life and death by a divine source. It represents strength, wisdom, growth, and prosperity.

This tattoo has a more extensive meaning. I took the lyrics to two songs (by Little Dragon, of course) and combined them into one illustration. The image of the two parrots is the official logo of the first song, “Ritual Union,” which describes the feelings of someone who is in a relationship but doesn’t feel that love is what society cracks it up to be. “..Ritual union’s got me in trouble again..” The feather that I added to the logo is from the second song, “Feather” which is about a person that would rather float along by themselves (like a feather) than to be locked down by someone. “..I’d rather be a whisper in Heaven than to be a daughter locked in your prison.. You are airborne, you’ve got silver rays.. Will you ever float, will you ever soar along?” Now. Although both songs are specifically about persons not wanting to be committed (which is not how I feel), my general interpretation of them – collectively - is the desire to escape conventionalism and be a free-spirit.

Another concept I included in the thought process of this tattoo was the behavior of parrots.  I would like to think that parrots were used in the “Ritual Union” logo because in nature, they are extremely loyal creatures. Once they find a mate, they remain with that parrot for the majority of their lifespan (generally around 80yrs). According to my own understanding of the lyrics, the logo shows them fighting because they want to be free from each other, or ultimately, free from convention and their imitational lifestyles. So in this aspect of the tattoo, I used one parrot to represent myself and the other to represent society.

The last concept is Sigmund Freud’s iceberg theory. His theory states that there are three aspects to an individual’s personality: the Ego, which is the ‘surface’ or the behavioral characteristics that we display to others; the Superego, which is our moral compass; and the Id which consists of our selfish desires. According to Freud, our Id and Superego are always at conflict, which I feel is EXTREMELY applicable to my own internal battles. My morals tend to stop me from doing and saying what I want, which eventually stops me from being who I really am. Or at least that’s what I assume happens. So of course, one parrot represents my Id, and the other, my Superego.

The college education in me wants to add a conclusion or some sort of closing thought to this post. However, I don’t know what else to say about it, so screw it.

I use a lot of commas.

                            

Greetings,

No need for a lengthy introduction. I'm just a gal whose life is rather unstructured, simplistic, and eccentric and (like the average human) consists of the perpetual conflict between my id and superego. This is my journey to Utopia. You're invited if and only if you promise not to be a backseat driver.